It needed to improve. If he was ever running into the path of an oncoming car, I wouldn't have time to count to three when I told him to stop. Plus, it was irritating.
I couldn't really start punishing him for it all of a sudden. So a friend gave me an idea: use positive reinforcement.
So, I created "The Marble Jar," a very inexpensive little project, which has been very effective. I took a jar (in this case an old, plastic peanut butter jar) and got enough marbles to fill it, and then dumped them into a plastic bag.
I waited for him to do something the first time I asked him, no matter how small. When he did it, I gave him a marble and explained what we were going to do. I told him that when the jar got full, we would do something special. It didn't take him long to catch on.
I never bribe him with it. I never threaten him or take marbles back out of the jar. I just make a point to recognize when he obeys me the first time and give him a marble. Now he often informs me when he thinks he deserves one, but I make the ultimate decisions about it.
So now the jar is almost full. And Cooper wants to go to the Wilson County Fair, a local fair that we went to last year and he still remembers. So we are trying to get all the marbles moved to the jar by Saturday so we can go, and maybe get a few treats while we're there. He's working hard for it.
Will we start over when the jar is full? I haven't decided yet. We have definitely made great strides in his obedience. It is so refreshing to tell him to go sit down at the table for dinner and have him do it right away. At some point, though, it needs to become second nature, not something that gets rewarded every time. Maybe we will try it for a time without the jar, and if we need a refresher, we will get it back out.
At any rate, I think this is a great tool for teaching kids to obey. It's a win-win for everyone.
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