“Judge
not, and you will not be judged.” Luke 6:37
I was
talking today to some of my MOPS friends (“Mothers of Preschoolers,” a GREAT
place to hang out with other moms). Some
of them were expressing concern that they feel judged by their working-mother
peers, maybe because they don’t contribute to the family income, or because they
would not be prepared if something happened to their husband. But we discussed how we sometimes tend to
judge those working mothers too, because we perceive they aren’t spending
enough time with their children, are too materialistic, etc.
Do we really
need to judge each other? Some mothers
truly have to work (because they are single or for some other reason), but most
of us have the freedom to make the choice, subject to our husband’s agreement
and other factors in our lives.
And we make
different choices. We place importance
on different factors. Some people want a
nicer house, or they don’t feel like they have the patience to stay home with
their children all day. Some don’t think
they could handle the isolation from other adults.
I personally
always knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and it took me longer than most
to be able to achieve that status. But now
that I am one, I haven’t regretted it for even one day. Maybe for a minute or two (I will look at
someone’s nice house or car and wonder what it would be like to have that), but
then I remember: there is no substitute, in my way of thinking, for what I’m
doing now. My son will only be young
once. I treasure those mornings when we
get up and read our Bible story and just cuddle, sometimes for an hour or more. I cherish rocking him to sleep, taking him to
the zoo or other places and watching his eyes light up as he experiences things
for the first time. I got to see his
first steps, his first giggle, and a lot of other precious things that I would have
missed if he were in day care all day. I
get to teach him my values and reinforce the behavior I want to see in him.
I’m glad I
am able to get things like laundry, cleaning and grocery shopping done during the
day so that the evenings when my husband gets home can be relatively
stress-free and we can have a relaxing dinner and family time. But that’s my choice. Thankfully, it’s my husband’s choice too, and
what we believe God has called us to for this season of our lives.
But for
others who are in a different place, that’s their choice too. I will try not to judge them and hope they
will not judge me either.
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